Thursday, April 29, 2010

Cleaningmakesmeill-itis

So I have come to a realization this week that I think I need to address....for those who are concerned (SHANE BROWN), please read below:

The Lord did not give me great housekeeping genes, if anything, he skipped that all together when he was knitting me. I read blogs about yall being so organized "only one more load of laundry to fold" or "it is cleaning day and the whole house is spotless". My laundry is NEVER done, not even close! I never can make my house spotless. I used to think that I just did not have time, but I have recently realized that I just don't do it!! I am kidding myself that I am just too busy. I can make time for lunches, making bows with friends, and shopping all on top of my busy work load, but cleaning the house or laundry NEVER make the list. Now, if I am entertaining, I will clean this house and shove laundry in hidden places faster than you can imagine, but that is not the way to do it and that just causes so much more stress later...so I have had to come to the realization that I can't help it...I am just made this way and I my remedy is a housekeeper. If I have a headache, I take Aleve, if I am bad sick, I go to the Dr...when I have this disease I will now refer to as "cleaningmakesmeill-itis", we need to hire the best remedy possible, a housekeeper. Cleaningmakesmeill-itis is a common disease and I feel that so many women are fighting it and hurting themselves cleaning their homes. If only so many husbands would realize it and get their wives the help they need to hopefully put an end to this phenomenon, the world would be a much happier, fresh smelling, dust free, place. Just think of all the happier wives if their houses were cleaned...and we all know happier wives equal even happier husbands!! So will you join me in this revolution, stop the insanity, stop the constant mopping, dusting and vacuuming, join me in the fight against CLEANINGMAKESMEILL-ITIS!

Our next fights once this is conquered: EXCERSIZEISFORTHEBIRDS-emia, POTTYTRAININGSUCKS-enza, and BUDGET-POX.

DISCLAIMER: Yes, I know I sound like a spoiled brat and ungrateful for the house I have to clean, the mounds of clothes that need to be washed, and my legs, arms, etc. This is all in good fun, strategically written close to Mother's Day and for the sole purpose of my husband reading it and yall laughing. Please know that any mean comments will not be approved and I will hit reject as soon as I see them bc this is my blog and I said so!

19 comments:

Nicole said...

haha we are definitely sisters... i think I have all these same diseases..

Tara Gibson said...

ahahhaahahahhaahahh! I think I am coming down with a few of these diseases! too funny!

Whitney said...

Love this! :) I hope Shane takes the hint... and if you don't mind could you pass this on to the BF, because I certainly think I am coming down with this illness as well ;) HEHE!

p.s. So glad to know that even you, Super Mom, don't always have a super duper clean house with the laundry all done, folded, and put away!! I was always like HOW DOES SHE DO IT! 3 kids, fabulous partys, a social life, AND a clean house... WOW!!!!

Brandi said...

Thanks for a good laugh! You are too funny! You soooo deserve a house cleaner. What a great Mother's Day gift!

Walking With The Wheats said...

I totally LOVE this! I am going to copy and paste it to my blog, just for my hubs to read it too!! Of course, giving credit to you!! HAHA :)

The Disheroons said...

I think I have that same disease. I need my husband to read this post.

Shane said...

Rachel, I have heard you loud and clear and have two resumes in hand.

First, Claire Brown. Does not take direction very well but if you make her think cleaning is a game or competition, she will do it.

Second is Owen Brown. He will clean but you will have to show him what to do. He has a VERY short attention span for anything not sports related so, again, you will have to make it a game.

Both come cheap as neither have any concept of the value of money (Claire offered to pay for a pool in the back yard with the money in her piggy bank). Let me know your thoughts on these two and we can go from there.

Boni said...

I LOVE IT! I literally laughed OUT LOUD in my office alone!

I spend SO much time on the weekends cleaning (because I can't stand the mess) but, I HATE IT! I have been pushing Travis to get me a house cleaner...maybe if you find one, you can refer her???

And...I am thinking DIET PILLS...this workout POOH is for the birds!

Suz said...

Hysterical... And can I just say how much I love Shane's reply!!! Haha! I want a maid too..

Christie Huggins said...

Crack me up. Laughed so hard you gave me another hard contraction! lol.

Natalie said...

I literally laughed out load! I too have the same illness, but was never sure of what exactly it was...until now! I am so thankful to now have a name to put with my "illness" and more importantly thankful to have another excuse to ask {beg} for a maid! :) cute post!

Jill said...

AMEN SISTA! Best blog post I've read all week! I think it's impossible to have 3 kids, have any kind of a life and keep a clean house too. It just doesn't happen. I'm totally forwarding this blog post to my hubby cuz I couldn't have said it all better myself!

Ashley said...

I hate laundry, almost as much as I hate dishes (but that's only because we don't have a dishwasher right now. :() I put it off for as long as I can...

But not as bad as my best friend's family! She told me a funny story about what she and her sister did for about a year. Their parents' old house had a storage room next to their laundry room. Rather than doing their own laundry, my best friend and her sister would just shove it in there rather than doing it...and get their parents to buy them new clothes whenever possible.

Well, when they were cleaning their house to put it up for sale, her mom found all the clothes! (She has cleaningmakesmeill-itis, too. ;) She couldn't believe it and was so mad, but my best friend and her sister felt like it was Christmas because it was like they had just gone shopping and found new clothes! They ended up having to take all the clothes to the laundromat because there was so much to clean. :)

Kristy said...

Love it! I like knowing that all the "super moms" are like me!
I am LOSING my mind with all the stinkin' grown up things going on around here lately (who am I kidding? Lately? More like Always!)... cleaning, job, kids, STUPID laundry! Hahaha!

If it makes you feel better, I have washed and dried clothes for the last, oh, 3 weeks? and haven't put any of it away. We are having to dig out everything as we need it. So inconvenient but I have NO energy for laundry!

Whitney said...

No mean comments from me! :) I say you go girl! You deserve one with 3 kids and full time job! I'm about to do the same!

Sherrie said...

I say go for it! One of the best things I ever did was hire a cleaning lady (well actually two ladies do it together) and they come every other week. Now if I could just get them here every week our house would actually stay clean. :)

I am ROTFLMAO at Shane's comment! :)

Melissa said...

Can you do a tutorial on how you make your hairbows? They are adorable and I would love to see. I'm expecting a little girl and want to start making bows for her.

Thanks in advance!

cortney mae said...

So funny! maybe for mothers day you will get a nice litte house keeper wrapped up with a bow! I hate cleaning as well, but the problem is I have no babies to blame it on.. I guess the fact that I was taking care of the dog could do?

MissBrightside said...

Let me just say that having a housekeeper is the best thing in the whole world! She only comes every two weeks, but she does all of the scrubbing and floors. It is really not that expensive and it has been a joy!! All I have to do is keep things tidy...she keeps them clean :O)