Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Playground Casanova

Wow, what a week and it is only Wednesday!!!  We had a great weekend full of fall smells, decorations, chili, friends and football!! It was great and I cannot wait for another weekend of the same!!  After this week, we NEED it!!  There has been some major drama in the Brown home and yall are going to love it....

So, last week, Claire got in the van after school one day and was so excited to tell us about this new friend she made at recess.  She could not remember HIS name, but HE was so funny!!  I immediately was not loving she was playing with a boy, asked her why she was not playing with her GIRLfriends and she said he was just funny and the girls were playing cheerleader and she was tired of cheerleader.  Then she says "Guess what Mama?  We were walking down the hall today and we passed this room where a bunch of boys were putting on jerseys.  We looked in the window and those boys were SOOOOOO HOT!".  Mom and Tara were with us and we all froze. Mom asked "You mean all how and sweaty?"  Claire says "NOOOOOO HOT!!!".  Never heard those words come from my baby's mouth, cue me STRESSING!

Just a little to get your prepared for my story:

Fast forward to yesterday.  We were waiting in the car line and I see Mrs T.  walking down the line and I soon realize she is coming to my car.  Immediately, I am stressing, thinking, Oh Lord, Claire hit someone!!! :)  She wanted to tell me alone and not in front of Claire that there was a kissing incident on the playground today.  MY Claire and another boy kissed.  She was not out there on duty at the time, but she said the teacher that was spoke with them about it and they just wanted to make me aware!  CUE ME STRESSING!!! WHAT?!  WHAT?!  WHAAAAAT?!  (that was all in my head, I was very apologetic to Mrs. T and told her I would speak with Claire, she was great about it). 

So I am steaming and ready to scream, bawl and laugh all at the same time.  We finally get Claire in the car and immediately starting asking questions.  She first tries to deny it and then she realizes that I spoke with Mrs. T. and finally fesses up. I am not sure what all I said to her, but I know the words "dirty girl" and "daddy is going to have a heart attack" came out of my mouth.  Just being honest, put yourself in my shoes and see how you react. 

I call Shane on the way home, fill him in, he is pretty calm about it, which made me mad as I wanted him to go as nuts as I did.  He planned to talk to her when he got home.  I think he needed to take it all in and he could see/hear how upset I was and knew it was going to be a looooong night! :)

We got home and I had her start her homework and started cleaning everything out of her back pack.  Then I find a piece of paper that has been folded down to the size of a credit card.  I am shocked.  On the outside of it, it reads "Clare Issebella Bamm" (misspelled first name, knew her middle name, but for some reason thought her last name was Bamm :)).  This was a note from a boy.  I immediately remembered how excited I was to get these in JR HIGH!!!!  Yall I got tears in my eyes bc those feelings came back so fast and I wanted to throw up!!!  I opened it and it had a picture of two kids swinging and underneath the picture it read "Clare is my favorite".  Claire just sat at the table with the biggest eyes I have ever seen, looking at me.  She said that it was from a different boy, but she was lying and it was from the same boy.  The note was written on personal stationary (already loving his Mom ;)) and I had his full name, lets just call him H. 

So I called Shane and I was going insane.  This was serious...

"How is this already happening??"
"FIRST GRADE??""
"Who is this boy?"
"I remember the girls that did this in first grade!! They were also the ones that knew how to french when we all used to play spin the bottle in 6th grade and I would only kiss a boy on the hand!!!"
"I would have NEVER done this!!" 
"What are we going to do??"
"She is going to be such a bad girl!"
"Her reputation is ruined!"
"What are we going to do when she ends up pregnant??"

Yeah, I got a little dramatic.  Yeah, I probably went a bit insane.  Yeah, I think Shane and Claire were both terrified.  But you have to know me as a kid...

You see, I was a prude.  Like a really good girl. Poor Shane must have really loved me back then, just saying  :).  I would HAVE NEVER kissed a boy at school or really anywhere.  I had my first kiss really late, no details here, but it was late and I just envisioned the same for my girls.  I was so scared to get in trouble and wanted everyone to think I was the best little girl, I would have never even been in those situations.  A boy kissed me on the cheek during rest time in Kindergarten, and I punched him the face.  Boys would give me notes at recess in elementary school and I would give them back.  I was a good kid, probably pretty annoying to kids like Claire :).  I just assumed Claire would be the same way...

So, back to the "situation".  Shane gets home and surprisingly, he is okay.  He talks to her quite a bit about it, very calmly.  I am not sure what all was said, but I know "cooties" were mentioned, and  they "pinky sweared" at the end she would not do it again.

Seriously.  (Sorry Shane, just keeping it real, we will laugh at this one day).

I, on the other hand, felt that more needed to be done and after some more conversation between me and Shane, he told me to go right ahead. 

Before bed, I went upstairs and had a long conversation with Claire and found out the whole story.  H and Claire have been playing together at recess everyday.  He is a second grader (LORD HELP!).  She said they hold hands and swing on the swings together.  They are "just friends" but he likes her and she does not like him that way.  She likes him as a friend because he is so funny.  All of her friends say they are boyfriend and girlfriend (she even used the term dating once GEEZ), but she says they are not.  Yesterday, they were all playing and all her friends starting chanting KISS KISS KISS at Claire and H and they did not want to.  Then two girls pushed their heads together and Claire swears they did not touch, but she kissed at him.  Cue the teacher clueing in...

We believe her.  My direction to her was that she was not allowed to ever play alone with boys.  If they are all playing together, that is fine, but she is to not be in that situation anymore.  She is not allowed to touch boys, i.e. holding hands and kissing.  She also knows that we have spies at the school and know EVERYTHING going on.  As far as Claire is concerned, she is not going to be able to hide anything.  If I have to go sit in the parking lot during recess to make a believer out of her , I WILL!  I think she gets it....

When I told her she could not play with H anymore, yall should have seen her face crumble and her cry. Her feelings were so hurt and I actually felt bad.  She really does have her first little crush and that made my heart hurt for me and her.  I know it is just first grade, but yall remember that feeling.  I also remembered the feeling of heart break and how bad that felt too.  I immediately wanted to bawl with her!!  I talked to her about boys and how they are not important right now and her girlfriends are going to be her friends for a long time.  She told me "It is so much harder to be friends with the girls, H is fun and he is nice to me, the girls are always fighting". Boy, she has a few things right!  I can't believe we are having these convos already.  We talked about how to play with the girls and how she can be a better friend too.  There are some sweet girls up there that I know could be her friends for life. So after that discussion, I have faith that she and the girls will all be friends.  We also decided that if H and his friends wanted to play with her and her friends that would be okay, just no touching WHAT SO EVER!  We will see.. and I will know, trust me.

So I know that this all seems SOOOOOO SERIOUS for such a little girl, but yall kids are growing up fast and I did not imagine these talks so soon.  We have a long road ahead of us and I am still trying to figure out how to get my seat belt on!!!  I am not sure if what I am doing is right, but I am just praying that the Lord guides me along and keeps his hands on her...and that boy too ;).

Oh and you know I got on facebook last night and figured out who this boy is.  This is a small school and all I had to do was start searching the friends of my friends that are parents up at the school, to see if his Mom was on facebook. H is a handsome little boy (with very good looking parents) and Lord knows we have a funny story to tell if they get married one day HA!

Good times....Lord help me get through the teenage years.  Many fun times ahead of us....

11 comments:

Madison said...

Yes, kids are growing up fast these days. I think it has a lot to do with what they see on TV and hear others talking about.

My little cousin came home from PRE-K with a crush on a girl. He was nuts about her. I could have cared less at that age. :)

Drew's Mom said...

Oh wow.. my heart goes out to you. Can't believe it's starting in 1st grade! I think you guys handled it pretty well (but I have to laugh at the pinky promise.. however, I do think she probably relates well to that). Good luck with the icky boys! =)

Jill said...

Oh girl, I am nervous FOR you! What a stressful thing to deal with. (And yet somehow funny, when it's not my kid it's happening to. HAHA! Eh hem, sorry!) I have a first grade boy and last year, his two best friends were girls. He would've never thought of them as girlfriends, though. I think he just related to girls better because his only playmate at home was a sister. I would be FREAKING out if hand-holding and kissing had been involved. Claire is such a pretty girl and she's confident...just the kinds of things that make other little girls jealous. She may lean toward the boys because they're nicer to her and there's no jealousy. I'm with you, though...I was the late bloomer...the good girl. I won't know how to deal if my daughter ends up not being like me. Good luck!! You totally have to fill us in on what happens!

Ashley said...

I don't know if this will make you feel better or not, but...I remember having crushes on little boys when I was in kindergarden through elementary school (and actually playing "wedding" with one little boy at the age of 4--and HE went on to marry my best friend 16 years later), and had no problem sharing these crushes with my girlfriends. I don't remember actually trying kissing, but I wouldn't be surprised if that happened.

Then, when I got to middle school and faced girls fighting, being catty, etc., I started clamming up because it was so embarrassing to have your secret crush spread through the school. By junior high and high school, I had matured and had my mind focused on God, my family, my friends, school, and my character...and wanted to wait for the right guy. (I finally found him in grad school!) I was very much like you in that I was a good girl and was always warning my friends about behaving properly. *lol*

I know this is stressful, especially as Claire is still a baby. It does surprise me how fast kids seem to be growing up these days, but, at the same time, I can't help but think that maybe feelings haven't changed.

Maybe this means she will get the boy craziness out of her system now, rather than later? Good luck!

Maggie said...

We are so much alike, Rachel. I would have reacted the exact same way and I think you did/said everything right. She is a good girl, and you guys are wonderful parents. God will keep her on the straight and narrow. She's gonna mess up, like all kids do, but she will be a good girl. She already is!! ;)

For giggles... when Josh was Claire's age, maybe Kindergarten, I got the call that he was caught peeing behind a tree at recess. I mean, what do you do with that? The poor kid had to go, so he went, haha

Stylish Housewife said...

Oh my gosh! This kind of made me laugh/feel bad for you. I was like you and stayed away from the boys until I was much older and had my first kiss late. I too assume that my daughter (no kids yet) will be like me, but now I'm not so sure. I'm really sorry. You guys will figure it out. The best thing you can do is pray about it. Good luck!

Suz said...

OHMYGOSH!!! I am Dying!!! Rolling on the floor dying over here!!! And terrified! I have to say, I was a Claire! haha - I was boy crazy when I was in first grade, infact had my first bf in 1st grade! Definitely stay a spy! haha! I turned out ok and was pretty prude, but I loved boys! haha! She's a great girl!! :)

Lane said...

Aww, this story makes me smile and reminisce! My first crush was in 1st grade as well...his name was Bo! :) She will probably always remember him too. (that is if they don't get married! heehee) Love this story!

erin f. said...

I have no advice whatsoever...just mentally prepping myself for what may be to come in the future. I was a fellow "prude" and equally terrified of boys as a little girl and I kind of hope Ellie is too, but if she isn't I hope that God gives Todd and I the wisdom to guide her just like you and Shane are doing! Good luck!

Christie Huggins said...

u...r....hilarious....lol...

Brandi said...

I feel for you girl! I'm soooo not ready to deal with all that stuff...ugh!!! Good luck!!! Your friend Amy Wellborn (I think) sells cute pillows or had a trunk show or something, is that right?? I was wondering what type of pillows they are... PRECIOUS!! I'll like to check into ordering some. Have a great day!!